One Day

When I win the lottery (preferably the Euromillions) I will own something like this

And it shall be a themed bookshop with a library full of crime books, a drawing room full of ladylike novels, a boudoir full of racier ones, a kitchen full of cookbooks, a nursery full of children's books, a study full of divine stationery and much much more.
(you'll have to imagine the books in place)

And there shall be a proper teashop attached where customers can eat disgustingly large slices of cake and drink tea and champagne out in the garden. It will not sell cupcakes. It will sell fairy cakes because that's what they're called. But mostly just proper big slices of cake.

And subject to there being enough outbuildings, perhaps a craft shop chockfull of tempting goodies. And a vintage shop where the staff don't look down their noses at you if you go in wearing jeans.

And I shall have ponies at home and an eventer that Oli Townend can ride for me because he is rather good and rather attractive.

And I shall also have a hunky outdoorsy sort of man who will go to watch eventing with me. But not a dog because I don't like them.

Well, it's nice to dream, isn't it?

Rant and Review

Apologies readers but a mini rant is up ahead. I am still feeling dreadful and have been in bed for the past two days. I think it might be flu now - I have zero energy and keep fluctuating between freezing and boiling hot. In other words, I'm probably not coping with life quite as well as normal but argh, I have things I need to get off my chest.

Car insurance. GARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I do not cope well with comparison type websites at the best of times (train websites are the absolute death of me) and especially not when it comes to car insurance. Why is it so outrageously expensive? I thought it was bad last year at nearly £600 but this year the cheapest quote I've found is £748.

SEVEN HUNDRED AND FORTY EIGHT POUNDS. It is fully ridiculous. Nothing has changed. If anything, things have improved because I've got another year's no claims bonus and that's meant to help, isn't it? And I'm doing everything right. I have an older driver on the policy, I don't do many miles per year, it's a small car that isn't worth very much. It can only be the postcode. I don't think the area I live in is that bad but clearly the insurers do. Luckily, being the depressingly sensible type, I have a separate account that I put £90 a month into to cover things like insurance, tax and repairs so I'm not going to bankrupt myself to pay for it, although that account is now somewhat empty. There seems no logic whatsoever to the pricing. It's almost as expensive now as it was when I first passed my test 8 years ago and it makes no sense.

Don't even get me started on petrol prices. Over £45 for a tank of petrol in my little car? Jesus wept.

Or the fact that a year's worth of proper breakdown cover is another £80. Go me for haggling the AA down from £164 though! But just think of all the other stuff I could be spending that £800 on instead. Books for example. Many, many books. And in a neat segue, here comes a book review.


I've just finished reading Jump! by Jilly Cooper. You go into a Jilly Cooper book expecting certain things - overuse of the word ravishing, lots of romping, constant referrals to scent instead of perfume, lavish descriptions of nature and many puns, mostly in relation to people's names. I find all of these things quite comforting in her books (in fact I wrote a parody once for a forum I post on - so much fun to do) so that didn't put me off at all.

Was it a good book though? I am going to have to say no.

I just felt like it needed a damn good edit and clearly it didn't get one. This seems to be increasingly common with established authors. I think they get carried away with the worlds they create and their editors don't seem to have the balls to get the red pen out and start slashing. I'd be interested to know exactly what the editor of this book actually did do because if this is the final product, the first draft must have been horrendous.

Yes, she writes big books with lots of characters but there were just way too many characters in this one and so many of them were entirely two-dimensional and superfluous. It led to some really bad and confusing dialogue - pages and pages where all of the characters seem to say a line each (half of them bad jokes) despite not being involved in the same conversation. The time sequence is patchy, there are loads of plot holes left unexplored and unanswered and it just doesn't feel well rounded at all.

As usual, there are a couple of romantic plots running through the story. I'm not going to join in with the bashing of the main one (read the Amazon reviews for that) which seems based on the fact that it's centred on two 60+ year olds. Cos you know, god forbid that older people are allowed to fall in love. Personally I thought it was quite sweet and certainly better written than the other one which involved Amber. I just wish Amber had been allowed a slightly better happy-ever-after moment. I have no romance in my life so I like it in books and felt mildly cheated by the "we're together now" line which was pretty much all that it boiled down to in the end. As for Amber herself, she's a nice character but not particularly distinctive. She seems boiled together from a quite a few other Jilly Cooper heroines - not necessarily a bad thing in a lesser character but not quite enough for one of the leads in such a big book.

Oh and I really, strongly, object to anyone writing a storyline in which a 15 year old gets unwillingly involved in group sex with 3 people twice her age. It was so distasteful and actually really unnecessary in terms of plot. And then no repercussions whatsoever for any of the older characters, as if it's somehow absolutely fine!

Despite all that, I did still enjoy bits of it. The book romps along quite well considering the aforementioned plot flaws, there are some really funny moments and I always like to catch up with some of her established characters. I do like her books, even when they're clearly as full of problems as this one is. If you've never tried any of them then please don't be put off by this - start with Riders instead. The earlier ones (Riders, Rivals, Polo) are far and away the best and it makes sense to start at the beginning and work your way through. Or if you don't have the patience for a 700 page book, try and track down some of her shorter books (Octavia, Harriet, Imogen etc). They're very much a product of the 60's and 70's so don't expect anything approaching political correctness but they're very good fun.

Back To Work

I love sweater dresses. They just don't require any thought when it comes to accessorising. Whack one on over tights or leggings, pull on some boots and you're good to go. Perfect for days like today when I had an extremely early start for a pre-work trip to the dentist and no time or energy to pull anything more complicated together.

Also perfect for a day when I'm feeling rather grotty and wanting to hide behind clothes rather flaunt them. This is bold enough to take the attention away from my face. Look how pale and gruesome I am! I would much rather have been in bed today but there was work to be done and lots of it. So in I went.

Sweater dress - Rise Elite @ Dorothy Perkins (yes, I know it's technically just an oversized jumper but it's going in the sweater dress section of my wardrobe, not the jumper section. So there.)
Leggings - Marks & Spencer
Boots - Evans
Jewellery - H&M

I'm after a nice pair of black knee high boots in the sale but am struggling to find any. I have chunky calves so I can't really trust buying a pair online in case they don't fit and all the nice ones I've seen in store are either still really expensive or only come in brown. If any of you happen to have seen any nice, cheapish, black ones, please let me know! In the meantime, my trusty short pair will have to do.

It's That Time Of Year...

Is anyone else already thoroughly bored by adverts for fitness videos, diet clubs and those stupid flipping yoghurt drinks? I may scream the next time I see Martine McCutcheon. I also want to burn every single magazine featuring a revoltingly skinny soapstar with the headline "OMG I was a size 12 heifer! Don't I look amazing now?" Err no. You were perfectly normal sized before and if I can count your ribs now, you need to put some weight on.

Here's my attempt at some weightloss tips from the perspective of someone who was properly fat and has now got down to a reasonable weight. I'm not skinny but I have no wish to be. I discussed it before here but for further details, read on.

As a mini disclaimer, I don't want to perpetuate the horrible idea that you need to be skinny to be happy/attractive/successful. I wish more people were comfortable with themselves as they are. But if you want to lose some weight, best of luck to you. I'm not setting myself up as any type of expert here. None of it is rocket science. I wish the diet industry didn't bullshit so much - all you need to do is eat a bit less and exercise a bit more. This is just what worked for me.

- I'll start off by saying that it's not hard. Really it's not. Trust me. It's boring but it's worth it.

- Get some willpower. You really won't get anywhere without it. If you're not properly committed to doing it then things will go wrong and the diet won't work.

- Speaking of which, I don't actually like the word diet. I calorie counted because I needed to lose weight and it seemed like the most sensible way to go about it whilst still eating properly, but really it was about learning to eat healthily and looking after myself better. It's just sometimes easier to say "diet" than it is "healthy eating and exercise plan".

- Do whatever works for you, as long as it's not one of those meal replacement diets. I'm sure they get results in the short term but it's not a healthy way to start things off and what happens when you start eating normal food again? So if it's Weight Watchers or Slimming World, portion control, exercise or good old fashioned calorie counting, pick your method and stick to it.

- Think about what you eat. I'd been kidding myself for years that I didn't really eat that much but that was absolute crap, I was clearly overeating. Just be honest with yourself. Do you snack too much? Eat giant portions? Can't resist any passing cake/chocolate/beer? If you want to lose weight then something will have to change.

- Be sensible. If you're anything like me then you need to retrain your brain and your body about eating healthily. Sticking to your calorie/points limit by just eating cakes isn't a wise move and neither is eating porridge all day so you can get mortal on wine later on (not that I ever did this, oh no). Restricting yourself too much is not likely to turn out well.

- Allow yourself some treats. I need puddings in my life so mini meringues were an absolute godsend.

- I found it really helpful to take over the cooking myself. I went for the calorie counting option and I was far from obsessive over it but it's much easier to know what you've had if you've cooked it yourself. It was for the same reason that I pretty much gave up takeaways. Eating out is do-able, just pick the sensible options where possible.

- Swap things. I think my biggest help was switching from full sized bread to the mini loaves. 120 cals per slice in the former, 50 cals per slice in the latter - it's quite a difference! You could of course just eat half the amount of the full sized bread but my brain doesn't quite work that way. Similarly with crisps. I didn't stop eating them, I just started to buy Walkers Baked (lower cal option) instead.

- Booze. I didn't cut it out completely but I took the approach that it was pointless calories a lot of the time. Don't get me wrong, life without wine and cider would be dull indeed, but I didn't really need to be drinking at home during the week, so I stopped. As with anything else, I'd have it if I wanted it and I could fit it into my daily calorie allowance.

- Ride out the first few weeks. You may well be so hungry at the end of the day that you want to eat your pillows but just have a snack and go to bed. If you eat a lot and then cut things down, you will probably be hungry for a little while till you adjust to it. It gets easier very quickly.

- Work out what your weak points are. I am a sweetie addict and if I have a bag in the house I will eat them all. Even now I can't resist them. I'm just not the sort of person who can put an open packet back in the cupboard. So the answer is simple, I don't buy them. Or I buy myself a Sherbet Dip-Dab or a mini pack of Haribo every now and then as a little treat.

- Do some exercise. I am extremely lazy and don't enjoy exercise so I often have to force myself into it but it is important. I started off with walking at lunchtime, just a half an hour stroll around the grounds at work. When I'd lost enough weight not to feel mortified in a swimming costume I started swimming again. I try and go at least twice a week. Another handy thing was the Step function on the Wii Fit. Set it to 30 minutes and it runs in the background so you can watch tv whilst you're relentlessly going "1,2,3,4" up and down on the board. More productive than loafing on the sofa!

Let me know if you want some moral support. I'm perfectly happy to shout "STEP AWAY FROM THE BISCUITS" at you if needed.

Blah

I'm not a good patient. I get:

a) mopey
b) much in need of sympathy
c) cross with everyone who tries to be sympathetic and nice to me
d) melodramatic. I am not often unwell and haven't been to the doctor for about 4 years now so when the lurgy does strike me I don't just feel a bit ill, I am POORLY. In capitals, obviously. Am currently feeling rather like a TB victim with a throat that has been set on fire.

So today, when I haven't been bitching and moaning about the unfairness of being ill whilst I'm still on my holidays, I have been doing the following:

Resorting to comfort food. Alphabetti spaghetti on toast anyone?

Trying not to get too cross with Oscar for relentlessly walking across the duvet between me and the laptop. I love him very dearly but why does he do this? Why not just lie down and go to sleep?

Dosing myself with every manner of cold/flu remedy I could find. I'm not quite melodramatic enough to call it flu - that word should be reserved only for when you're feeling too deathly ill to move. It's decidedly unpleasant though. I seem to be blowing my nose a ridiculous amount in the morning, feeling generally shitty in the afternoon and then coughing my head off in the evening. Fun eh?

Reading. Obviously. But I'm not showing you which ones as they fall into the category affectionately described by a pal as "literary filth". I should probably clarify that this isn't porn or anything, just the sort of stuff with hunkily bare chested men on the cover. Also a couple of the JD Robb "In Death" series which I've started rereading from the beginning.

Making some foccacia/herby flatbread type stuff and then eating it, part plain, part slathered with sundried tomato tapenade. Yum! Feed a cold, starve a fever, right? That's my excuse anyway.

Having a little cry over the news that beautiful, brave Monet's Garden is on the verge of death. Then crying a little bit more when I got the post and had an update from Redwings, a charity I support. I loathe and despise the fact that someone can starve 36 poor, defenceless ponies practically to the point of death (and 4 of them did die) and then get 100 hours community service as a punishment. The justice system is pathetic.



Watching Tim Minchin's dvd. It's cheered me up slightly as he's very funny but I am still having one of those resolutely meh days. I hate days like this. I feel as if I should be doing something but I have no idea what I actually want to do. Perhaps I'll turn out the wardrobe or something.

Hitting The Sales

A moderate amount of sales shopping took place over the holidays. Frankly I couldn't be bothered fighting my way through the crowds in the shops or trawling through endless crap on the websites, so I've probably missed a lot of good stuff. I'm not particularly bothered by this though as I didn't have much to spend and I was mainly trying to be sensible. I went into it aimed with a list of things I actually needed, and determined not to buy stuff just because it was reduced. So what did I end up with?

First of all, from my trusty Dorothy Perkins:

See, look at me being sensible with a pair of khaki skinny cords. I have no trousers anymore, only jeans, and I can't get away with those forever. So I've indulged my fondness for cord trousers and bought these.

Erm, I suppose I technically didn't need this but I love jumpers, I really do. And this has pockets!! Plus I put it on and immediately boinged round in it and I think that any piece of clothing that can provide that level of instant joy is an immediate keeper.

I also bought some other random bits (belts etc) but didn't like them when they turned up. I think I'm coming to the conclusion that belts should never be bought online as the pictures never reflect what they actually look like. So I took them back to the store yesterday and exchanged them for a pair of tights (oh how I love DP tights) and this scarf, but in red rather than brown.

Then from River Island:

I am so pleased with these shoes. Eagle eyed readers may have noticed that I was wearing them back in this post. I first bought them in early December in a moment of madness when I was desperate for some nice grey shoes or boots and couldn't find a pair anywhere. At £75 they were a tad (well, a lot) expensive and being suede, not the most practical choice of footwear. But I love them so that makes it ok. As luck would have it, the weather promptly turned evil and they hadn't been worn out of the house when I discovered that they were down to £35 in the sale. Hurrah! First pair promptly returned for a full refund and a new pair bought in the online sale.



This also fell into my basket when repurchasing the shoes. I am entirely blaming Margaret for this. If I hadn't seen it on her blog and fallen in love with it then I doubt I would have gone hunting through the website for it. It feels so lovely and I adore a dress with sleeves. However I'm still not entirely convinced that I suit high necklines and so am currently deciding whether it would be wiser to just return it for a refund. I might take a quick snap of it and post it on here for opinions when I can be bothered getting dressed.


Then when I was down in London I treated myself to this lovely green bag from H&M. It's probably fair to say that it's more than a little influenced by the Mulberry Alexa but I don't give a toss about designer bags so I really don't care. I like it. It's green. It was under £15. Why buy one that cost £750 instead?

I went to Gap for nice basics too. Their website is RUBBISH so I can't get you any photos of my purchases but I bought some gorgeous grey wool checked shorts which I'd been admiring muchly when they were full price, and a lovely forest green cardi, both of which I plan on wearing a lot. I'm sure you'll see them on here sooner rather than later.

Oh and before I go, thank you all for your lovely comments on the last post. I don't like to bang on about the weightloss too much so have always rather shied away from writing about it but some of you have asked for more info so I'll put something up soon. As for the books, yes I read very fast. I always feel that I'm a bit crap at writing reviews of things so don't tend to talk about books much on here but again, I'll give it a go if you want to read about it!

Looking Back...Looking Forward

So then, 2010 is over and done. On the whole I would class it as a good year. I'm finally home now so can get round to thinking about it enough to write a blog post.

I stuck to all my resolutions. They weren't major things (stick to the diet, go swimming, learn to cook a new main course every month etc) but I think it was the first year I've ever made any so I'm quite pleased with myself. I haven't thought about any for 2011 yet and given that it's already 4th Jan, I probably won't end up making any for this year. Perhaps just the vague idea of losing a bit more weight. Not too much but just a wee bit more would be nice.

Speaking of which, in 2010 I lost a smidgen under 4 stone to add to the very similar amount that I lost the year before. Yay me!

My confidence levels have risen dramatically this year. I wish I could say that it wasn't linked so strongly to the weightloss but I'm afraid it is and that's just the way of it. Getting braver is a good thing though, whatever the cause of it. I've done lots of things this year that I would never have been brave enough to do in previous years. I won't list them because they're all very minor things but hey, I have to start somewhere!

My tastebuds have definitely expanded. I now eat curry, capers, sprouts, broccoli and am getting less wussy with spicy foods. I've developed a bit of a taste for red wine and a very definite taste for coffee. Mmmmm, lovely coffee. Why have I ignored you for so long?

I was a bridesmaid for the first time. It was so much fun! I think it helped muchly that the bride was as chilled out as it was possible to be and so there was no hassle other than dress fittings (where I shamed myself by nearly passing out).

I read 345 books. Not many in March (only 18) - clearly I was quite busy that month, or reading weighty tomes rather than books I could romp through. Perhaps next year is the time to get more adventurous as I didn't discover as many new authors I liked as I usually do. Any suggestions?

I revised my opinion of shopping. I still don't enjoy it particularly but it's immensely liberating to just go into shops and know things will fit you and that makes it less of a hellish experience than it used to be. Also I've found myself rather approving of H&M and River Island. Yes, there's still much cheap tat on offer but if you ignore that then there are lovely things to be found. New green bag, I'm looking at you as I type this.

I started the blog. Thank you all so much for reading it! Perhaps I'm just sheltered from all the bitchiness that can be found out there in internet land but I've met some truly amazing people through blogging. The warmth and generosity and friendship that I've found has really touched me. You're all lovely. I've even met a few of you in real life (see, told you I was getting braver!).

As for 2011, it's starting off with what feels like a rather rotten sore throat. Oh well, best to get the annual cold out of the way early I suppose! I don't have many big things planned so far - a couple more theatre trips to London, a 4 day residential course for work at the end of Jan (eek, scary!), the annual Easter jaunt. I'm sure the diary will fill up quickly enough and I'll soon be griping about my lack of free weekends but for now I'm enjoying the peace and the chance to loaf about reading. I'm heading into work for my rearranged PDR today but then I've got the rest of the week off. Don't expect any outfit posts; it's unlikely I'll get dressed till next Monday.