Fill In The Blanks

Sunday, 13 March 2011

I saw this a couple of days ago on The Girl's blog and fancied having a go. For someone who doesn't like to talk about herself much in real life, I am a surprisingly big fan of answering questions online. I'd be an interviewer's dream!


I am...an incredible procrastinator and not very organised in my private life. This is odd considering I administrate in fine style at work. I am continually surprised by how easy things actually are to finish when I've been putting them off for so long that they've reached horrible, scary proportions in my brain. I am a bugger for putting correspondence and paper and other stuff in piles around my bedroom. They just stay there until I'm desperately procrastinating from doing something more important, at which point I'll eventually tidy them up into smaller piles, which stay there until I'm procrastinating from something else...

The bravest thing I have ever done...probably put this post on the internet for all to see. It was hard to write it. It was even harder to look back at all the truly hideous pictures of me. It was bloody nearly impossible to pluck up the courage to put them online. In the grand scheme of things, probably not so brave. In my little world, quite a big thing.

I feel prettiest when...I'm drunk. Is that bad? I don't niggle at myself when I'm drunk, I just lash on more eyeliner and lipgloss and occasionally think "check you out" when I look in the mirror.

I have a complicated relationship with my face. The food allergies have the curious effect of making it swell sometimes. It's probably not very noticeable to most people (apart from the one who goes "hamster face today eh Alex?" ) but I am very touchy about it and don't enjoy looking like I have a double chin, so I don't feel pretty on the days when it's like that.

Something that keeps me up at night...my body clock. I just don't get tired until about 1am. I was alright until I went to uni and then I worked 6.30am-8.30am five mornings a week and my sleep pattern just went haywire. Actual insomnia is very rare for me and only tends to happen when I'm heartbroken and not coping with life very well. It's gruesome to go through.

My favourite meal is...something that I haven't cooked myself. I like all sorts so I don't think I can narrow it down to a particular favourite. There would probably be some bread and a delicious pudding involved though - I am addicted to both.

The way to my heart is...thoughtfulness. If we're talking romance then I don't like the obvious. Sod off with your boring red roses and chocs I can't eat. Track down a book you think I'll like, find me interesting, make me feel happy. In friendship or in general, unexpected kindness is good, as is a bit of effort. I don't like to always be the one doing all the work. Or tell me you like my shoes, that's always a winner.

I would like to be...lots of different things. Prettier, happier with my body, braver, cooler, not so paranoid about people not liking me, more glamorous, more interesting, better informed about so many things, able to play the cello and piano, not allergic to milk. Some of those I can work on, some I just have to put up with. Mostly I would like to be not so hard on myself.

Wow, that turned out a lot deeper than I was expecting. Should you also wish to spill your guts, do have a go!

28 comments:

  1. This was really interesting Alex. And for the record, I really like you despite having never met in real life, so you certainly shouldn't worry about things like that. I think the last 'like' is the one you really need to work on - not to be so hard on yourself. You are already pretty, and brave, and interesting, and funny, and stylish, and generous and lovely. It is one of the toughest ones, but worthwhile. It was actually my own new years resolution a few years back!

    btw also meant to say in reply to your comment on the 70s glam post, you could definitely wear that type of thing. Remember how amazing you look in that satin jumpsuit Christina sent you? I think you really suit that kind of studio 54 glam look, definitely don't be scared to wear more of it xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ahh Alex! Totally agree with the above - you ARE pretty and brave and cool and VERY interesting and clever and funny - don't be so hard on yourself!

    I agree with the way to your heart, I'd much rather a bunch of daffs than a bunch of roses any day!

    And your brave post is very inspirational, you should be proud! xx

    ReplyDelete
  3. PS I know what you mean about 'thrift' - I think it's the American influence. I'll always say something's from a charity shop!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Very interesting! Awww don't be so hard on yourself! I know what you mean though. But caring about what other people think will only make you feel sadder. Getting to know you through your blog you seem like a bright, smart, talented, beautiful, and stylish girl! To hell with what people think, you are amazing!

    Ohh goodie, I can't wait to tell my Boyfriend that you liked the Adjustment Bureau!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Brave post sharing all of that Alex. I think we all get insecure about the way we look etc but it's important not to get too bogged down by it all. You are a beautiful lady and you should try and embrace that so you don't need to feel pretty when your drunk!! The right outfit makes me feel great but I know after a few drinks your confidence is higher and it's easier to just let go etc. I definitely agree with the thoughfulness point too =)


    Bow Dream Nation xx

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm going to do this!
    I also think i'm hot when drunk! x

    ReplyDelete
  7. I like your shoes! Fab post. Meanwhile I am procrastinating over your parcel!!!
    Z xx

    ReplyDelete
  8. I read your 'hardest post'. Very inspirational and brave. I feel at my most confident and comtable with myself when drunk, I wish I could recreate that feeling about myself when sober. I think I'll do one of these posts too.
    http://cgdn.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  9. I can identify with loads of this, especially the drunk thing! I only ever think 'damn, I look hot today' on the wrong (right?) side of a couple of pints...

    ReplyDelete
  10. This was a brilliant post Alex, so very interesting to read. You need to know though that you are very pretty, brave, cool and so interesting! The post you reference was extremely brave of you and must have been really emotional for you.

    You are a fabulous girl Alex and don't you forget it. x

    ReplyDelete
  11. What an honest post, Alex. It's hard not to be tough on yourself, we are all our own worst critics. Acceptance, for me, came with age.
    You're fabulous, hopefully it won't be too long before you realise it yourself. xxx

    ReplyDelete
  12. Very brave and honest Alex.

    I was really picky at my self through my twenties and early thirties, now I am who I am. And I like me.

    X x x

    ReplyDelete
  13. great answers Alex! I love how you put so much thought and so much of yourself into these posts. Your bravest part really was so brave! You should be so proud

    ReplyDelete
  14. I love these answers Alex...you are an incredible person, yes xxx

    ReplyDelete
  15. I've just read through the weight loss post you linked to again and, once again, I'm so inspired by what you've achieved. What amazing willpower you have to go on that journey and come so far. xx

    ReplyDelete
  16. Dear Alex, you're wonderful! Margaret's right get that jumpsuit on it was fabulous on you.

    And I laughed at the bit about slinging a bit of lipstick and eyeliner on - it's always worked for me. I promise I'll get to the PO before it shuts this week. Love C xx

    ReplyDelete
  17. Great post Alex. You always come over as a very interesting and likeable person.

    ReplyDelete
  18. You are SUCH a treasure.
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
    Love and snuggly bits!

    ReplyDelete
  19. don't be so tough on yourself, i think you're very organised - i certainly look to you as my 'organised inspiration'!
    i feel very lucky to have you as such a lovely friend :) xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  20. ALEX :) I only now got the package you sent me ( I was away on holiday for last two weeks haha!) and I want to tell you THANK YOU :) I Love everything in it AND the note as well :) I'm planning on using some already tonight :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. I can relate to a lot of the things you are saying, I wish there was a day when I felt good about myself and didn't put myself down.
    Only time can tell, as I get older and life changes, one day I might wake up and not immediatly think I look like crap or feel fat.

    I think we're all guilty of being disorganised at times, but please don't feel like it's a bad thing, you are an inspiration Alex to me and many others x

    ReplyDelete
  22. Really interesting - although i only know your blogging and not the solid person you, I would have to agree that you're quite tough on yourself! That bravest blog post demonstrates that you are tough, resourceful and can do something many people struggle with and see it through. You also look very pretty in all your photos.

    I'm glad I'm not the only person who puts paperwork in piles at home.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I just love this post. I sincerely appreciate your honesty. In actuality, we all have hang ups that we are conscious of and I think it is very brave for you to display them on your blog. That isn't easy. People can be so mean.

    I agree with your take on romance. Romance is appreciate me for the person I am, so therefore finding special ways to impress me is a must. Canned lines and typically procedure is a huge turn off.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Alex your first point was brilliant. I am the same. I really have loads to sort out at home and am hopeless but always supper organised, efficient at my work things!

    As for niggles and being self aware, don't! You are wonderful, lovely and look gorgeous. And I'm not only saying this because we share the same landing!

    I think all the doubts are part of being younger and thinking in terms of 'perfection' - well it is pointless and doesn't exist. We are all perfect with all our differences.

    I wish I wasn't allergic to prawns and didn't have psoriasis - I'm off all dairy and meat again as it helps reduce my psoriasis so I'm going to stay off it for good soon as I feel better - it is effort but worth it.

    I had missed the jumpsuit but agree you do suit them. We are always our hardest critics and you know what your brave post is the beginning of going forward xx

    ReplyDelete
  25. love this post! so honest!

    http://fashioneggplant.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  26. poor you...i don't get sleepy until around 2AM too but at least my work isn't until 10AM. don't stress out until you fall asleep though...that way you don't feel tired when you wake up in the morning. take care! <3

    ♥ vanilla ice cream ♥

    ReplyDelete
  27. Oh nooooo the checking yourself out in the loo mirrors is the sign when I know I have had too much to drink ha ha, glad to know I am not alone in that xx

    ReplyDelete
  28. that is a fun way to get to know yourself better. thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete

I'm easily pleased - a simple comment will cheer me up no end. So do drop me a line below...

Sorry to readers who prefer to comment anonymously but I am getting clobbered with spam at the moment so have had to disable anon comments. Feel free to get in touch with me in another way!