The Answer To Any Question

I wasn't going to blog this outfit. The reasons are as follows:

1) I've worn this dress about a million times.
2) I have my can't-be-arsed-with-life cardigan on.
3) No makeup.
4) Hair had been in a topknot for three days.

But we can't be perfect all the time, can we? (Or ever, in my case.)

I got Taya, my Costa drinking partner in crime, to oblige with a few outfit snaps for the very simple reason that I was wearing EPIC new shoes and they deserved to be immortalised on here.


(I am so bad at having my photo taken. What am I even doing here? Amusing you, most probably)

BEHOLD THE SHOES!



I got an IC gift voucher for my birthday and struggled for ages to narrow the selection down to one thing to spend it on. Then I saw these and it was love at first sight. They arrived and then it seemed to rain forever and I really didn't want to ruin them, so this was their first outing.

I should probably have dug them out a week or so earlier - they'd have been perfect for the Scottish referendum!  They're perfect for general life though. I barely have to talk when I'm wearing them. I just do some sort of interpretive dance hokey-cokey and waggle my feet at people. Awesome.

Dress - Billie & Blossom @ Dorothy Perkins
Cardigan - Primark
Shoes - Irregular Choice 'Why Not'

Another New Coat

Coats, coats, I love coats.

I especially love this one. By all rights I should never have bought it. It's big, it's boxy and it's really the sort of oversized thing that looks best on tall, skinny, ironic, hipster types. They would pull it on and look like they've nonchalantly pinched their boyfriend's coat. I kinda look like I've bought a coat that doesn't fit me.

You know what? I don't care. It's great! I can lose my hands in the sleeves!



I first saw it at the Matalan event I went to in December and loved it so much I was tempted to snap it up there and then. Waiting a few weeks paid off though as it was then reduced to half price in the sales. There's only one thing better than buying something you love and that's buying something you love when it's on sale!

Made me feel so jaunty that I just had to wear some suitably amusing footwear:

Apologies for the slightly scuzzy tights!

Dress - Billie & Blossom @ Dorothy Perkins
Frog shoes - Irregular Choice via ebay
Coat - Matalan sale
Cardi - Primark

Hideous Frocks

Lots of shops sell frocks. Lots of shops sell really nice frocks.  But almost all of them will have one or two absolute horrors lurking around as well and it's time we all pointed and laughed at them.  I did this with ugly shoes back in the day and it seems time to reprise the feature for another wardrobe item. Why should shoes have all the fun?

Now I'm not slagging off the shops or anything.  On my infrequent recent shopping trips I've seen an awful lot of nice dresses around. It's just too cold to start buying spring/summer stuff at the mo but when it warms up you can be sure I'll purchase a frock or three.  H&M have got one or two beauties, once all the stuff made from nasty fabric has been ruled out. You can almost guarantee I'll always find something I like in the Closet and Billie & Blossom ranges at Dorothy Perkins. I like the simplicity of Vero Moda. I'm even finding myself lusting after a lot of the Primark spring range.

It would be easy to do a wishlist full of pretty things, wouldn't it? I'm gonna make you look at hideous things instead.  Muahahahahaha. It's much more fun to mock them than it is to coo over nice stuff.

It all started when I was browsing the Boohoo website (I bought an awesome jumper which I will feature soon) and came across this:

 I christen it the Slutty Flintstone

And this is kinda normal I suppose but a) PEPLUM and b) BEIGE PEPLUM. Madly unflattering, even on a teeny tiny model, plus ewwww peplum.

Missguided are very fond of a cutout, aren't they?

As if this wasn't nasty enough, it's also got a socking great exposed zip down the back.

More sensible to just go out in your bra, surely? You can't possibly call that a bodice.

ASOS sells so many things that you're never too far away from something great, or something utterly vile:

For just £338 pounds you too could dazzle in a fricking AWFUL drop waist swanhead lady dress.

This reminds me strongly of that dress Julia Roberts wore in Pretty Woman. No, not the posh polka dot one. The hooker one.

I want to like this frock, at least from afar. But when you get closer it is essentially an apron and a collar attached to some see through mesh and frankly I'm not that fashion forward.

Even Dorothy Perkins, usually fairly tame and inoffensive when it comes to frocks, has some weird choices in at the moment.

Snot green neoprene? Really??

What's this all about please?  A minging zip AND drawstrings AND a deeply odd skirt. I am baffled.

Unsurprisingly, Topshop wasn't short of options either:

Take one tablecloth, form it into a shapeless sack, et voila!

I'm all for a bit of #wardrobezoo action but I can honestly say that I've never thought "You know what my wardrobe is lacking? A dress with a shark eating my tit."

Erm, shameful confession. I was in full mock mode for this one, just because it is so in-your-face and stripy and PINK (I loathe pink), but I would totally wear it. I can't help myself.

I would also buy this from Glamorous in a heartbeat if it weren't for one thing.

WHERE DO YOUR BOOBS GO??? The bodice is practically a set of braces.

Answers on a postcard please.

Day Seven

The final day.  Thank goodness for that!  Not that it hasn't been fun to discover a few unworn things, but it's been much harder than I thought to put outfits together based around them.  My brain doesn't usually work that way.

The one thing I have noticed is that I'm more drawn to green than I realised.  Take a quick look back through the last week or so of posts and you'll see that I'm wearing something green in six out of the seven outfits.  You'd never guess it was my favourite colour, would you?

Today I positively revelled in the fact that it was warm enough for bare legs and bare toes.  I bought these shoes weeks and weeks ago and it just hasn't been hot enough for them yet.  Stupid weather.  Stupid non-existent summer.  I may have to investigate whether wearing them with tights looks stupid or not because they are amazingly comfy; far too much so to be relegated to the summer-only corner of my shoe rack.

Do you like how I've fetchingly accessorised them with a massive, blotchy insect bite on my leg?

Dress - Billie & Blossom, Dorothy Perkins sale

Cardi - Primark

Shoes - H&M

Rings - Next clearance

Green Spots

Ever put on an outfit that just makes you smile?

This one had me in a good mood all day yesterday.  I just had to look down at my legs and I was happy.  Great big polka dots = fun times.  Also these tights are clearly magic because check out the back of my thigh in the picture below.  Where has it gone?? 

Magic I tell thee.

But anyway, happiness inducing outfit all round.  The jacket and dress both have an extra little coating of satisfaction because they were sale and charity shop purchases respectively.  And we all know that saving money makes things better, yes? 

And this is why I rarely smile in photos. I was feeling happy, honest I was, yet still I look mardy.

They are honestly one of the comfiest pairs of shoes I own.  As long as you remember the zips go on the outside and don't put them on the wrong feet...

Dress - Billie & Blossom @ Dorothy Perkins, sale

Blazer - Warehouse, via Oxfam

Tights - wish I could remember! Possibly a stall in the Rag Market in Birmingham

Boots - Aldo sale

Clutch - Dorothy Perkins, present from Char

Bracelets - presents from Zoe and Chloe

And that, my lovelies, is that. At least for this week. I don't really have anything else to say about the outfit other than I love it, but I think you may have already gathered that.


Before I go though - to anyone that expressed an interest in the Good Reads thing I mentioned in this here post, I shall be in touch very soon. If you didn't see that post, go and have a read and please do leave me a comment if you're interested. The more the merrier!