April in Orkney

On the principle that better late than never...

I went to Orkney in April.

Kinda goes without saying that it is an extremely long way away. So many hours in the back of the car. You have to drive to Scotland, then you have to drive all the way to the very top of Scotland, then you have to get on a boat and sail off the edge of the world. But holy shit is it worth it. Not only do you get to venture to John O'Groats (always cause for an amusing selfie)...

But if you're very lucky then a rainbow is there to greet you when you get off the ferry.

Coming from a family of complete and utter history nerds, this holiday was all about the prehistoric remains. Orkney is rather well-off in this respect. There's a stone circle or a neolithic village or standing stone or burial cairn around pretty much every corner. You might think I'm joking but I'm really not. We were talking to someone from Historic Scotland about what would happen if Skara Brae fell into the sea and she said (with no hint of exaggeration) "Oh we'd just dig up a farmer's field and find another one." They have a lot of history up there.

Right round the corner from our holiday apartment were the Stones of Stenness.

Not gonna lie, this recreation of it was my absolute favourite thing in Orkney Museum. I honk every time I look at it.

Just across the causeway from the Stones is...more stones! The Ring of Brodgar to be exact.

You don't really want to get me started on why I think Stonehenge is a bit crap. Honestly people, if you're down that way then go to Avebury instead. A stone circle with a village and a PUB in it. The Ring of Brodgar is better than both of them though, plus as with most things in Orkney, you basically have it to yourself. No other irritating tourists around.

Everywhere you go is blissfully empty and incredibly beautiful.

(This is Maeshowe. Might be a World Heritage Site but shhhh, don't tell anyone. It was a bit dull. Fun Viking graffiti though.)

There are random ancient burial tombs everywhere and you can just let yourself in. Then you can climb into side tombs and poke around and it's awesome.

Some of them are a tad more difficult to get to (hello Cuween!) and you literally have to crawl inside on your hands and knees in the mud but I am an intrepid soul so in I went.

And even when you get lost trying to find one, the views from the hills are quite good as consolation.

Skara Brae is, as we expected, fascinating and breathtaking. Lifetime ambition to visit it: completed! Alas it's not that easy to take an interesting photo of. Soz.

I was also a big fan of the Brough of Gurness. Yes, we did nearly get blown into the sea but a) Shetland ponies:

and b) it reminded me somewhat of Labyrinth. A ruined, windswept, small version of the Goblin City.



Birsay was also rather fab. We found out tide times, strode boldly across the causeway and then sunbathed on the mossy ruins of a Viking house.

And just to finish, because I'm aware this is turning into a flipping essay loudly singing the praises of Orkney, here are some random photos:

Sorry, how much?

Stromness is beautiful.

View from our kitchen window.


Still kinda gutted I didn't buy this.

Couldn't resist.

In summary: GO TO ORKNEY.  It is the windiest place I've ever been in my life and I spent most of the week looking like Cousin It but it's magical. I may have spent half of this post calling things beautiful but I haven't done justice to even a tiny part of it. All these photos were taken with an iPhone camera and I haven't messed around with them at all. No filters: it really is that stunning.

A Weekend in the Country

I had the most blissful weekend away. It was Mum's 65th birthday and as she likes to celebrate these things in style, off we went to stay at Langley Gatehouse. It's a bit nice, isn't it?!



Now I'm afraid I can't really write a coherent blog post about it because I'm extraordinarily tired at the moment and my brain will only allow me to go "OOH SHEEPS!" so let's all look at lovely photos instead.


Was actually sitting on the gatehouse windowsill, not in the sink but allow me some poetic licence...



There was a rather lovely view across to the old fishponds and moated area where the Hall used to be



Oh yeah. It SNOWED. Yoicks!



Luckily it melted shortly afterwards so we could get out for a lovely walk.

We saw SHEEPS. They were all "WTF are you doing in my field?"



And a pony with amazingly cute ears and hay stuck to his nose.



And a castle. I do like a good castle.







But mostly we lazed around reading and eating and chucking more logs on the fire. That's the way holidays should be.




This book was excellent btw although it did cause me to emit the odd pained groan upon reading "It was demolished in 1956 and replaced by a bungalow".






Char couldn't resist doing her best sloth impression on the beam in the bedroom.



It's always a bit of a wrench to go home after spending time in places like that. I like my time spent living in the past.

Tudor Style

I can't wait for Wolf Hall to start on the BBC tomorrow. Controversial opinion coming up: I hated the way the book was written. I know it won all sorts of awards but it got on my nerves so much that I nearly couldn't finish it. I love the history of the Tudor period so much that I'll basically read anything set then, so I persevered, but the tv version is going to be so much more enjoyable for me. I can just tell.

(Might have something to do with Damien Lewis, my all time favourite posh fit ginge).

Ahem. Tudors! Here are some Tudor things I want:



I was tipped off about this Tatty Devine Tudor house necklace on Instagram by Char and I'm kinda in love.



Tudor pants, anyone? Twisted Twee make three different designs but I've always rather fancied these Anne Boleyn ones. It's a very close call between her and Catherine of Aragon for my favourite of the six wives but I'll tell you this for nothing: if you like Jane Seymour best then we cannot ever be friends.


I got my lovely Elizabeth I ring from Cheap Frills and I'm still hankering after their six wives charm bracelet (also comes as a necklace!)

If I ever do get round to making a Spoonflower fabric order then this Tudor quatrefoil design is going straight in my basket. It'd probably show up my utter inability to cut and sew in a straight line but what the hell. It's pretty.

Still waiting for Irregular Choice to knock my socks off with some Tudor style fabulous heels but I may be waiting a wee while for that. Ah well, wishful thinking never hurt anyone.

Shall we finish with some entirely gratuitous photos of Henry Cavill in The Tudors? Of course!