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Sometimes a girl just needs a good rant...

Friday, 16 September 2011

I wouldn't describe myself as an angry person but I'm no Pollyanna either. I get irked by stupid things. A lot. I'm sure I'm not alone on many of them but here are just a few of the "popular things in life that I do not like:

Pink. I believe my distaste for this awful colour is well known.

ITV. And anything on ITV (with the exception of Downton Abbey, and even that I buy on DVD). Call me a tv snob if you wish but I just don't watch it.

People who say 110% , or any type of percentage over 100. They need punching in the face.

Cupcakes. For fucks sake people. They're just ridiculously sugary fairy cakes. You're not American, so just call them fairy cakes (if you are American then ignore me). Or better still, just have a big slice of proper cake. Those silly Ladurée macaroons fall into this category too. Are they popular just because they're in girly pastel colours?

Animal print.

Dogs (with the honourable exception of Molly and Rigby). But especially rats on strings. Or rats in bags. If it has legs then let it walk.

Ugg boots.

Twilight and the popularity of vampires in fiction in general. Buffy and Angel were good; it should have stopped there.

Fashion magazines. This is where I totally fail as a fashion blogger. I don't get them. Everything is so massively out of my price range that it just bores me. I'd rather look at blogs if I'm in need of fashion related inspiration, not spend a load of money for a glossy mag full of people who are a ridiculous amount taller and slimmer than me.

Harem pants, or anything else baggy and saggy in the crotch area. And peeptoe boots.

Soap operas. They're either just plain depressing or boring as hell.

New Year. Uck.

Books belonging to the genre known as "tragic lives". Have you ever wandered round in WH Smith gawping at the array of horrendous titles? The choice is endless - they're all along the lines of "Why, Daddy, Why?" or "Stop, Mummy, Stop" Or the truly bizarre one I saw once that was subtitled something along the lines of "From Nun to Crack Whore." Who the hell wants to read things like this? (Answer - the good folk of South Liverpool, judging by how many copies there were on the shelves) There's clearly a market for it but it totally baffles me why anyone would choose to spend their leisure time reading about child abuse and rape.

Ooh I feel better for having got all that off my chest. Anyone else want to share what makes them cross? You're in a safe place here. And don't forget, even if you love all those things, we can still be friends. Just don't let your dog lick my face, m'kay?


  1. Aww I disagree with you on dogs & cupcakes! But I just like any kind of cake and do hate the whole cupcake hysteria and cliche-ness of it now. If i receive one more cake tin with a horrible cupcake print on it as a 'gift' I will scream. But they taste nice and are easier to eat than a big slice of cake. I also hate New Years Eve though and misery memoirs! We have a whole section of them in the library and I just want to burn them all (harsh words from a librarian...)

  2. Sorry, I likepink. BUT,I with you on the 'cupcake' thing.It does my head in.It is a fairy cake.which is a much nicer name anyway. Since when did we become American? You've set me off now.
    Soaps. Yes. A waste of precious time breathing.
    New Year's Eve. Forced enjoyment, rarely works for me. All that hugging too.
    My friend hates Uggs too and says they are scruffy and sloppy, but I likes 'em.
    This is some of mine.
    Trainer socks.
    Shoots,or shoe boots, or whatever they are called. Ugly.
    People saying,'Win' when something good happens.
    Crocs. Burn them.Burn themall and rehabilitate the poor sods that wear them.
    I am also not mad about crochet,which everyone is bonkers about at the moment.
    Ta for making me laugh,T

    I sawagirl here yesterday wholooked stunning and had a great figure, but for some bizarre reason was wearing jeans that appeared to give her saddlebags at the sides of her thighs.

  3. God, that was LONG. I also hate bad punctuation that makes people look illiterate. Space bar key stuck and not paying attention, soz there.

  4. Being from Yorkshire i would say BUNS, fairy cakes if they have buttericing and wings on top.
    I like leopard print but am VERY fussy it has to look like leopard and not have lace or zebra mixed in.
    What annoys me, hmm how long have you got.
    Low waist trousers make your hips look huge esp if they are too small on you which most seem to be.
    Boots with the toes cut out.
    Sky news.
    The BBC.
    People who say burlesque is not about stripping
    Think I'd better stop there.

  5. A rant does you good.
    Uggs - hate them. It is short for ugly, the clue is in the name!
    Harem pants - they look ridiculous - on everyone, even 'celebrities'.
    Cupcakes - they are fairy cakes, not cupcakes.
    Macaroons - they look horrible, I don't want to eat anything those colours.
    Misery literature - I want to read for enjoyment not to feel depressed afterwards.

  6. Haha I could have written this!
    Apart from dogs, I like big dogs, but not small dogs in bags, pointless.
    I hate it when English/British people use American terms, 'drug store' drives me mad.

  7. I so agree with Twilight and animal print, Although I do like a bit of pink, that said always a small amount in a print rather than a great big pink jumper or something like that. Things I really hate, sound of people eating! Not even reserved for noisy eaters, just the noise in general!

  8. I really liked your post Alex. It is good to have a rant every now and again. I agree with you on a few things there too.


  9. I cannot believe how much i agree with you! (Apart from the cupcakes but I do have a disgustingly sweet tooth, and an American stepdad so thats my excuse!) NYE is the most over-rated night of the year and don't even get me started on bloody Twilight! Their acting is so wooden and there's no chemistry at all, complete opposite of Buffy & Angel/Spike who had amazing on screen chemistry!!

  10. I totally agree with pretty much every point. Especially ITV, I would also put Sky 1 and all soaps in your list.
    I can't really say much about pink... My room is bright pink (which I chose at 18- before then it was blue, I was fed up of being cold and believe it or not pink keeps a room warm and isn't red, I don't like red). I don't wear pink though or own much pink stuff so it's not a girly girl thing!
    I'd probably also add fake tan and bleach blonde into your list too!

  11. I love a good rant, Alex. I'm totally with you on cupcakes (give me a jam doughnut any damn day of the week...), dogs that are no bigger than our (one remaining) guinea pig and New Year celebrations (usually an anti climax and plus I like to be in bed at 10oc, the saddo that I am).

    I would like to add: people who put their bags on the seats on the tube; the competitive mum syndrome; racists and particularly those who say "I'm not being racist but....." (I had the misfortune to work with two of those) and my favourite rant, namely, charity shops and their ridiculous prices. Well, I'm glad I got that off my chest......

    HOpe you're having a great holiday. xx

  12. Ah excellent rant! The definite downside of my week is staying with my mum on an Emmerdale or hospital documentary night, have resorted to headphones! I totally hate Uggs too, whats with those sock looking ones?! Admittedly I do have a non 'Ugg' pair but they only come out in severe snowstorms where I have to walk somewhere... :)

  13. You know what is even more sickening that uggs - MALE UGGS. WHY. YOU MAY AS WELL WEAR YOUR SLIPPERS OUT PEOPLE.

  14. Ah, I'm with you on most of this! The misery memoir genre I really don't get either- surely you're not going to enjoy reading that, unless you're a sadist or something? They're all marketed in such a sensationalist way. Rats on leads, no thanks, they're a hazard when they're so easy to trample underfoot (cats rule obvs).
    I'll tell you one thing I'm not keen on- blogs reviewing the most inane products. I don't understand why people would be interested in reading about how good this or that concealer/ nail polish remover/other random product is. So dull! xx

  15. Oh and Uggs in Australia are only worn as slippers indoors. The think we're crazy in UK actually wearing them out.
    Ughh when they're all saggy at the back.

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  17. I'm with you on most of those, especially the 110% and tragedy literature. Why is it so popular?! It's not a good thing, I think people have a ghoulish, prurient interest in other peoples' suffering. It's horrible.

  18. Haha! Do you feel better now? :)
    I agree on some things, majorly disagree on animal print...majorly. You know I love it.
    Uggs, yes, 110% people, yes, and definitely yes on the dogs in bags/organs on limbs. Let them walk!!
    Also the Pink thing, I don't mind pink, but christ, at the moment they are covering everything with it.


  19. OMG!! I was only thinking yesterday how you hate anything described as more than 100%. How can you hate ITV when there are soooooo many good quality programmes on (Jeremy Kyle being a particular favourite lol). I have totally turned into a day time tv person since the baby was born.

    I'm glad Molly is the exception the rule on dogs, but you are forgetting Penny too.

    Shell x

  20. I love this!!! You know what I hate? I'll only say it quietly - nail art. I should be banned as a blogger! ; ) x

  21. Apart from the harems and toe-out shoe boots I'm with you.
    It's the Americanisms that do my head in. Cupcakes, fall, closet, gotten... keep creeping into British bloggers vocabulary and driving me mad.
    No rats on leads here, it's a Staffie or some other massive attack dog. x

  22. That post made me grin! It's therapeutic to have a good rant! Several of yours resonate with me, the 110% thing particularly makes my piss fizz!
    Kandi x

  23. I SO agree with you on this list, particularly fashion magazines and teen vampire drivel. Victorian Vampire fiction can never be bettered and I can think of better things to spend £4 on than a glossy magazine comprising 90% adverts and 10% photoshoots featuring £3,000 tutu's. I am partial to pink though and I love a good fairy cake.

  24. This has made me smile Alex, especially as i got a new bright pink dress today!
    My list would have to include; people trying to sell you store cards when you buy something, orange tans and rudeness! x

  25. Oh Alex. I don't tell you this enough. I fucking LOVE you. Excuse my language, but I do. I'm with you on some of the above but not but what I LOVELOVELOVE about you is that you're so honest and up front! Brilliant!

  26. "From Nun to Crack Whore" sounds awesome! I would read it. On the train.

    The main thing that annoys me at the moment is Nadine Dorries.

    K xx

  27. Alex - I love you. I much prefer the name fairy cake and I've never tried one of the macaroons but if I like food I tend to like it for the way it tastes. Pink's probably my least favourite colour, I don't like leopard print or other animal prints, I'm of the variety where I think it looks better on the animals and while I do like vampires I much prefer the old horror ones with fangs like the Morganville vamps or Anne Rice's ones, but I get you. I think this is one of my favourite posts you've ever done. There's not much on this list I disagree with you on! xxx

  28. I'm with you on a lot of these, especially the 110% and Americanisms, although only namby pambys say fairy cakes - they're buns!

    My pet hate is people who go up at the end of a sentence as if they are asking a question.

    Oh and swearing in the street and public places.

  29. I love your rant! I'm glad there's someone else who's not overly fond of dogs. Usually when I tell people that they look at me as if I just admitted to punching babies. I also used to get really pissed off about "cupcakes", to me they were either "fairy cakes" or "buns" but now I think they're slightly different. They're much bigger, have straighter sides and way more icing, maybe even a milkier batter(?) Unfortunately I do like a bit of pink, not sugary or super bright pink though.

  30. OMG you're such a funny ranter!Hurrah! Love a good rant, I do!! Cupcakes/schmuck cakes,I reckon!
    Argh,you've gona and gone off to somewhere glamourous and divine!!EEEK! Have safe and fabulous times,darling!!
    LOVE!! XXX

  31. Bless you, this post made a grumpy git (me) finally crack a smile!

    I don't agree with all mind. I don't hate pink but its not my favourite colour. I also have to fess up to owning ugh boots! Don't hate! They are so comfy for being dragged round long trips as yes they are like wearing slippers.

    Totally agree on the dog part. Seems so stupid when they have four perfect legs!

    Hope you are sunning yourself and having a fab time.

    X x

  32. Ah an excellent rant. Do you feel better. I have to say I love a bit of leopard print and am proud of it. Pink you can keep and it's a fairy cake!

    Keep up the good work.

    Jo x

  33. Guilty of ITV viewing, do like a smattering of pink and of course love a fashion mag but agree with ref products/prices.

    I did laugh a lot xx

  34. Funny! I'm not as vehment as you but I agree with the animal print, peep-hole boots, vampires, rats on strings (not REAL rats of course- I love them!), Twillight (and vampires in general), stupid tragic novels of that ilk (urgh, especially anything by Jodi Picoult).

    My passionate dislikes are eluding my mind at the moment except the spawn of all that is evil- MUSHROOMS!

  35. Ha, loved your rant. I agree with about 50% and have quite a few pet hates you haven't included. I daresay I'd offend quite a few people by ranting up about it, I'll probably keep them to myself, for now at least. I hate peeptoes with a vengeance, they should be outlawed.
    Oh and I possibly would describe myself as an angry person. Half the time anyway.

  36. Ahhh! I agree with everything there. New year is a strange thing, people just seem to use it as an excuse for a party and get excited over nothing. Definitely irrational!
    I spent last new year in a cottage in Devon with some lovely people going on long walks in the countryside, playing board games and eating cheese & wine. Bliss!

  37. Oh God...where do I start with my list of hates?

    Bad spelling/grammar really annoys me.

    Someone said Crocs, I agree with them.

    I hate pretty much every song from after 2006. I just don't get new music.

    Oh and chavvy, orange girls with bleached hair and inch thick makeup.

    They're the first few things that popped in my head so I'll leave it at that. If I keep thinking and adding to my list then I'd take over the page with pet hates....

  38. Haha, it disturbs be how many of those things that I agree with you on! I hate pink so much that everyone who came to my baby shower was advised NOT to buy anything pink even though I know I am having a girl.

  39. I like wuite a few of these things, but agree with you on many! I used to hate pink, then discovered I can do hot pink. But I hate it being equated with girliness and everything being so sugary, yuk. Same with leopard print, it can be so cheap and tacky but when done right I adore it. I adore ugg boots, as SLIPPERS. They should never be worn anywhere out of the house. Enjoyed Twilight the book, thought the film was completely awful. Like dogs in general, but hate those scrawny little rat-dogs. I enjoy cupcakes, because they are cakes, but wish people would stop going on about them. There is a difference between cupcakes and fairy cakes, cupcakes are actually bigger. Hence I like them more! Don't mind harem trousers, when done correctly, but can't see the point of peep-toe boots. Soaps and tragic life books I agree are totally awful in every way, and I despise New Year. xx

  40. Ha I am nodding my head in agreement on every single one of these points with the exception of pink - I don't love it but have made room for it in my life because i have a daughter.

    Everything else....oh so right!!!!

  41. Fizzy piss? I do think that commentator may need to visit their GP!!
    This post made me laugh out loud. A lot. And then I read the comments. OMG! Hand me a hankie, I am all but crying with laughter.
    Thank you, all of you!
    Z xx

  42. I have missed a load of posts recently, but so glad I caught this one. We'll have to agree to disagree on the Twilight thing - well actually I agree the films are terrible, but enjoyed the books in their twaddletastic way, reminded me of being a teen - but am with you on pretty much everything else. Ok, maybe not animal print either, but absolutely on mad percentages, the cupcakeisation of society and misery lit. Did I share my all time favourite misery lit title?

    "Ma, he sold me for a few cigarettes"

    The follow up is "Ma, I've got meself locked up in the madhouse"! Doesn't it make you just want to snuggle up all cosy under a blanket and read about child abuse? People who choose this stuff must be a bit odd.

    I enjoy a good rant anyway, as I'm prone to them myself. I just did that A to Z of me post which is doing the rounds, and the longest entry was probably P for Pet Peeves. I have many.

  43. Agree with most of this Alex - esp the misery books, couldn't believe the size of the section for them last time I was in WH Smith! WHO reads that?!


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